Post by GW Odland on Sept 11, 2020 21:41:51 GMT -6
I have been hiding. Hiding from my friends, hiding from my family, hiding from everything and everyone.
Not since my father died in 1982 have I had such an intense sorrow that nothing and noone can assuage the emptiness I have in my heart.
For those who don't know what I am talking about, it was the loss of meeting twice a week with my veteran brothers in group at the VA when we lost our counselor. In one day I lost my long lost brothers and the hope they brought me, the satisfaction of belonging to a group of men who would not permit me to minimize my status as a veteran and treated me as an equal, having value, and doing more for me than I thought possible. It has been a year. A long, terrible year. I miss them so much. Too much to reach out to them. I can't explain that, but that is what it is. .
One of my newly found veteran brothers was a man who offered to drive me to my appointments in Temple, which I had a lot of. His name was Bob Bleth, a man who was generous to everyone and helped any way he could. We spent countless hours talking on those trips and I had found a friend like none other I have had before. We were both from the Dakotas so it was not hard to relate, He took me everywhere for appointments. Temple, Abilene, Dallas, and took Amber and I to see our psychiatrist in Killeen. He came out for cookouts and even Betty, our Basset Hound loved him as did Amber and as I did. I spent as much time with him as I could. Everytime I went to town I stopped at his apartment. If he had something I could fix, I would. If I had a need, (and I had a lot of needs), he would help however he could.
He had such wisdom and compassion and when I would get worked up over what the docs would say or some other problem, he was able to calm me down. I never thought I would have a friend, not such an amazing, caring, insightful, helpful, and wonderful friend as he. I knew I had been given a precious gift and I cherished every moment
Through Bob I was introduced to Georgia Ward, a wonderful Army MP vet who has helped me more than I can say. Georgia invited me to attend another group at the Priddy American Legion on Thursday nights hosted by TJ Weeks, a driven compassionate veteran whom I greatly admire. Everyone was welcome and he and the others helped each other deal with life's hardships. It has been interrupted by to pandemic but I have hopes we will soon meet again. Georgia, Bob and I went to the Priddy group together. Those trips were such a soothing balm and I miss them too. I see Georgia occasionally, but not enough. I love them all and miss them all.
Bob died April 13th, 2020 at the Temple VA from complications of stomach surgery.
Everyday I think about him. Everyday I want to go see him and talk. Everyday I have this unrelenting pain. Everyday I miss my friend, Bob. I will always be grateful that I had such a precious gift but the sorrow, grief, and emptiness are always with me.
I hate going to town because I know he's not there anymore. I have projects here I was doing for him. I have a glider recliner I got for him which I don't know what to do with. He is all around me, He was such a huge part of my life. I have his words in my heart and I am a changed man because of him. I miss him more than I can express.
I mourn the loss of my groups. Their influence is always with me. Their counsel, their encouragement, their strength. I am a changed man because of them all.
I needed to write this down, I needed to express my deep sorrow. I may post it every where I can.
I am hesitant to contact my brothers. I don't know many of their names, save but a few, and I am safer hiding.
My life had taken a turn to where I had friends to see, groups to attend, and it was wonderful. I am thankful for that time and I hope it comes again.
Not since my father died in 1982 have I had such an intense sorrow that nothing and noone can assuage the emptiness I have in my heart.
For those who don't know what I am talking about, it was the loss of meeting twice a week with my veteran brothers in group at the VA when we lost our counselor. In one day I lost my long lost brothers and the hope they brought me, the satisfaction of belonging to a group of men who would not permit me to minimize my status as a veteran and treated me as an equal, having value, and doing more for me than I thought possible. It has been a year. A long, terrible year. I miss them so much. Too much to reach out to them. I can't explain that, but that is what it is. .
One of my newly found veteran brothers was a man who offered to drive me to my appointments in Temple, which I had a lot of. His name was Bob Bleth, a man who was generous to everyone and helped any way he could. We spent countless hours talking on those trips and I had found a friend like none other I have had before. We were both from the Dakotas so it was not hard to relate, He took me everywhere for appointments. Temple, Abilene, Dallas, and took Amber and I to see our psychiatrist in Killeen. He came out for cookouts and even Betty, our Basset Hound loved him as did Amber and as I did. I spent as much time with him as I could. Everytime I went to town I stopped at his apartment. If he had something I could fix, I would. If I had a need, (and I had a lot of needs), he would help however he could.
He had such wisdom and compassion and when I would get worked up over what the docs would say or some other problem, he was able to calm me down. I never thought I would have a friend, not such an amazing, caring, insightful, helpful, and wonderful friend as he. I knew I had been given a precious gift and I cherished every moment
Through Bob I was introduced to Georgia Ward, a wonderful Army MP vet who has helped me more than I can say. Georgia invited me to attend another group at the Priddy American Legion on Thursday nights hosted by TJ Weeks, a driven compassionate veteran whom I greatly admire. Everyone was welcome and he and the others helped each other deal with life's hardships. It has been interrupted by to pandemic but I have hopes we will soon meet again. Georgia, Bob and I went to the Priddy group together. Those trips were such a soothing balm and I miss them too. I see Georgia occasionally, but not enough. I love them all and miss them all.
Bob died April 13th, 2020 at the Temple VA from complications of stomach surgery.
Everyday I think about him. Everyday I want to go see him and talk. Everyday I have this unrelenting pain. Everyday I miss my friend, Bob. I will always be grateful that I had such a precious gift but the sorrow, grief, and emptiness are always with me.
I hate going to town because I know he's not there anymore. I have projects here I was doing for him. I have a glider recliner I got for him which I don't know what to do with. He is all around me, He was such a huge part of my life. I have his words in my heart and I am a changed man because of him. I miss him more than I can express.
I mourn the loss of my groups. Their influence is always with me. Their counsel, their encouragement, their strength. I am a changed man because of them all.
I needed to write this down, I needed to express my deep sorrow. I may post it every where I can.
I am hesitant to contact my brothers. I don't know many of their names, save but a few, and I am safer hiding.
My life had taken a turn to where I had friends to see, groups to attend, and it was wonderful. I am thankful for that time and I hope it comes again.